miss u

I once thought that life will be easy even without you,Cause I know I can live my life, like I always do..Knowing your not there at the time of my birth but still manage to breath and strive for life; but when I wake up one day after I learn to live with you and realize I can no longer have you.. everything seems to loose its way, I thought I played it safe but slowly you’ve been my soul, my life
Months pass, each day I tried my best to exist and not to live for the moment you said goodbye my life ended. For how many months my feelings have been suppress and because of my busy schedule, I no longer think about you.. with all my pride I declared I have move on.. but a small part of my heart that is now consuming all of it shouts “where’s my soul?”
I learn to drink and get drunk, I even tried to smoke and have attempt to get into different relationship to prove that I have move on.. but why now.. your all that I want.. I miss u like dying…but you are already inlove with someone else that makes me die more and more… cant breath ….

mmmm

Whats behind everything I’m doing now? Cant find the reason why I drink and smoke when my heart knows I don’t want to be there…I feel so stupid and missed up, this is not me; and certainly not what I wanted to be.
My life now is like floating, never know where to run … wanting to have a reason or a person whom I’m going to be acquainted that will help me do things I suppose to do and not like what is happening to me now..where there is no one to think to.